I moved back to Maine in October of 2019. I was supposed to be setting out on the Appalachian trail in February of 2020 and having a wedding in November of 2020. Kind of doing the honeymoon first sort of situation.
When the pandemic started and it was apparent that it wouldn’t be intelligent to continue with our plans to do the AT (or have a wedding) I began looking for work. I got a job in May of 2020 as a caregiver and would visit client’s homes and perform tasks they couldn’t complete on their own. I enjoyed this work and it gave me something to look forward to every week during a time when circumstances pushed my fiancé and I into living in our van. Those circumstances persisted for 7 months before we secured housing in a low-income development.
In October of 2020 I experienced a pregnancy loss and in November of 2020 I was exposed to Covid-19 and forced to isolate in my house for 2 weeks. In short, this broke my brain, but I continued to go to work following my isolation and reminded myself that my precautions had kept me safe from infection while all others who had contact with the person who exposed me to the virus had tested positive.
By January I was having daily breakdowns and could not get through the day without a panic attack. I continued to do my job, even when one of my favorite clients passed away and that grief was thrown on top of everything else. But after months of therapy it was determined that leaving my job was in my best interest and that continued risk of another exposure would be too much for my mind to handle.
With the support of my therapist and my fiancé I left my job and was convinced I wouldn’t get approved for unemployment. I applied anyway and was approved, but as a long time Libertarian I struggled with the idea of relying on my government for support. The response I received any time I expressed this hesitation was that it’s my money and I shouldn’t feel guilty for accessing it.
I got my first job when I was 17. I had dropped out of school and within the first month of employment was working an average of 72 hours a week. By the time I was 20 I was working two full time jobs and pulling overtime at both. Nearly 90 hours a week for over a year. This work ethic continued for the duration of my employment history and I never once filed for unemployment, even when I should have. I have always believed in earning my keep and working for what I need.
Covid-19 brought on complications to my mental health and I reluctantly agreed to do what was best for myself regardless of my core values.
2 weeks ago my unemployment account was flagged for ID verification in a sweeping reform done by the state of Maine. Upon verifying my ID and confirming that I am indeed who I say I am, they canceled my claim anyway. The system has turned into a guilty until proven innocent process and upon being found innocent you are still deemed culpable. This is sold to me as an effort to reduce fraud, but part of my expansive work history includes 3+ years as a fraud analyst and I can tell you that fraud is not nearly as prevalent as the government thinks it is.
I continue to put the required effort into finding employment, but with my mental health still in a stabilizing process I can’t guarantee I can do any job for any length of time. I don’t have the support I need to get better and feel safe, so the withdrawal of my unemployment benefits will not hasten my return to the workforce. We will sell our car before I will return to a job that pushes me to relapse on the recovery I’ve managed so far.
It’s almost like the majority of people utilizing unemployment benefits actually need them and it has nothing to do with a desire to be unemployed. Many of us are simply still too afraid or too damaged to return to work.
Guilty until proven innocent, and innocent but culpable, are not ethical ways to approach anything—especially in the United States—so why is this the default setting of our government?